pain to joy

It's been a rough week.

We found out we were pregnant a few weeks ago. We purposely didn't announce it early. Glad we didn't.

I started feeling different early last week. I knew something was up, but tried to stay positive. A few days later, I went to the local, all-Chinese hospital. (There is an int'l hospital in Beijing, but is at least a 1.5 hour trek and is quite expensive.) I took a Chinese friend/believer/translator with me. The ultrasound results concluded there was no heartbeat. The doc said the baby was measuring smaller than the 10 weeks I thought I was. She suggested I come in again in a week to check again.
*Side note: During the ultrasound, there were 4 nurses in the room. Since they knew my friend spoke English, they started asking her how to say things in English. Then when we went to talk to the doc in her office, she started in with the same questions! I was quite frustrated to have to deal with this cultural faux pas at such a vulnerable and emotional time.

I was a wreck that day. I knew it was bad news even though the doc was holding out hope..trying to stay positive for my sake.

I wanted to know for sure what was happening. So Michael and I made the trek into Beijing (without Josiah--thanks to our wonderful team) to the international hospital. They were great; it felt like a hospital at home. (The Chinese hospital wasn't even close! But I won't go there right now.) After another ultrasound, the same results came back. Again, the doc wanted me to come back next week "just in case." But I knew it wasn't meant to be. Throughout the whole day, He had been pouring his peace on us. We knew that He had his reasons for taking the baby. We don't know why, but we know it was the best for us. We've been clinging to that.

Our team was wonderful and let us stay in Beijing for dinner (a treat!!) We ate at an Indian restaurant we've been drooling over for months. It was scrumptious. We're thankful for the alone time we got there. We're even more thankful for the joy that only He can give in a time like this.

Through this process, He has been pricking our hearts about our family. We love Josiah even more now. (Possible?!) We see having kids as a pure blessing. We hope He will continue to bless us with as many kiddos as He wants to give us. It's a scary thought (the Duggars...), but we know He won't give us more than we can handle....our wallets, my body, our sanity.

I'm thankful this painful process has brought me even more trust in my Father.

P.S. I'm not writing to ask for sympathy or a pity party; I know you care if you read this. I just needed to write it out. 

English corner

I just came back from my first English corner. This can look different, but tonight it was an organized event put on by the students. They invited 3 foreign teachers and any student who wanted to practice his/her English. The room's capacity was maybe 60. We definitely had at least 80..maybe 100 packed in there.

We were asked before it started if we could say a few things about the topic: growing pains and happiness. You may be wondering what that phrase means....so were we! But, we pulled something together, and of course made it deep so they would think about it. :)

Then we gathered into groups (of like 30..) and they could ask us any question. Nothing too unusual. The usuals include: what do you think of China? why did you come here? how is China different from America? (haha)

Then there were lots of games and singing. This is where the cultural amazement struck me. When the emcee asked if anyone would like to stand and sing, there was only 5 seconds of awkward silence before someone volunteered. A-capella. Then another. Then a third. Can you imagine this in America? We'd say, "nuh uh! You ain't makin me do anything!" But they don't see it as something scary. Their culture loves karaoke. So, knowing this, we foreign teachers got up and sang "you are my sunshine". And they loved it. Hilarious.

And of course, throughout the entire time, pictures and videos were being taken of our every move. Not to boast, but we really do have a taste of what celebrities experience. Except no one has hid in a bush to snap a pic...yet. :)

missing is normal

Today I made pumpkin cookies for the Halloween party for a small group of students and our team. After the process of baking, scraping, and pureeing a small pumpkin, I really wished I had a can of pumpkin. Pop the top, and you're good to go. My process took an hour. But it's...more...fresh?!

I've been missing more things from the States lately. Maybe it's the holiday season starting up. I've never been a huge Halloween person...don't really get dressed up or anything unless there's a killer party (with prizes) to go to. But now that we have a kid, I missed it this time. I always wanted to go to the church fall party. Someday...

 Josiah was a monkey for halloween--costume by grammie Mueller. He didn't like his hat so much...

Josiah and I visited Michael's classes this week. We introduces ourselves and I gave a mini-lesson on the stages of life, using Josiah as an example. Of course the students loved him more than anything, but it was fun! I had fun getting back in the saddle--still miss teaching sometimes. Now I'm hoping some of the girls will email me so we can get together.

We had our first coffee house event for the students on Friday. Once a month, we transform a classroom, serve them treats, have entertainment, and lead discussions about potentially deep topics. It was so fun! The students had a blast. It took me back to the college days of doing things like that all the time. I like the chaos of getting it all ready and then seeing it run smoothly. :)

It really is hard to keep posting pics up here when I put them all on FB. If you can't view them on FB for some reason (you can do so from the link even if you don't have an accout), let me know and that will motivate me to put more pics up here. It just takes too long. I hope they come up with a better way soon.

**Update: Obviously, there are pics here. Props to Bronwyn for inspiring me to sit and wait 10 mins for them to load. (did you know you could print your blog into a book?! sounds like a sweet plan...) But, I will have to do some major work on patience to put lots of pics on here. Any tips? Do you use Picasa and find that it's faster?? Again, could just be where I am...

Date morning!

We are very blessed with teammates that are willing to watch Josiah to give us some time away. So far, we've used the time to explore our new surroundings.

I was extra excited about today because Michael said he had a surprise planned. I love surprises! But I couldn't help badgering him last night to give me a clue. He didn't give in.

Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate with his plan. (weather.com has been wrong all week--predicting sunny and 60's, and it's been foggy/smoggy and low 50's. bummer!) He had planned to go to a nearby lake his students have told him about and BBQ! His students said there were actual grills there and a nice, old man who will provide the charcoal. Haha. Can't wait to check that out...it may have to wait a few months, though. It seems winter may have come early. :(

My love is great with "plan B's." The new theme: places we can't go with Josiah. So we took off on our bikes and he led the way. He said there were 5 stops.

1.) I cracked up at the first one: the 2 rmb store. (think $1 store, except 2 rmb is more like .30) Haha. But, we had both wanted to check it out..so why not? We actually picked up quite a bit of loot that we hadn't been able to find at the normal stores--and for MUCH cheaper: rolling pin, tongs, thermos, ribbon...that's all I can remember.
2.) Dian Dian--a supermarket no one on our team had been to. It was nothing special, but at least we got to see for ourselves. I scored some warm slippers and Mr. Muscle grease cleaner.
3.) 9.9 rmb store...but it was replaced by a shoe store. We literally spotted it less than a month ago. Maybe they were liquidation items?! However, on the hunt for it we picked up a big bag of sweet potato chips and a chicken "sandwich." Can't describe it well enough here, but just know that we devoured them in record time.
4.) THE coffee shop--on top of a grocery store. (the only one in town, that we know of) I have been there twice and knew that I couldn't have the coffee--way too strong. I struggled to find something on the terribly-translated Chinglish menu (2 consecutive coffee drinks were named "spaghetti with meatballs." haha..I really want to help them re-do their menu!), but finally landed on "coco milk." I really had no idea what it would be. Michael got an iced peppermint coffee. His was decent, mine was better. It was just steamed coconut milk. Very sweet. It was quiet and relaxing to be there.
5.) Building 53. Another recommendation from Michael's students. We went into the basement to scope out the food court. It's great! About 6 or 7 different options--a nice, quick meal for when we're out. We didn't eat there since we had already eaten, but now know a good place to go with some options. Outside the building, a vendor was selling some popcorn. Michael had told me about Chinese popcorn--that it's sweet, like kettle corn. I LOVE kettle corn. So we got a bag. (a small trash bag, that is...all for .50) It's sitting next to me now, almost empty. :)

Dates are a blast. Even better with a spontaneous hubby!

picutres!!

Drinkable yogurt = fun times for kids. He LOVES them!

This lamb character is EVERYWHERE--definitely the most popular cartoon here. The ride costs about 15cents and lasts about 5 minutes...about 4 minutes too long with its loud, annoying music. :)

Girl time! Women of the team except Lynne on back,left. She's Mrs. President of our company and came just to have girl time! In the middle of the table is what we thought was chocolate fondue. Unfortunately, it was some sort of strawberry and kiwi jelly. There was fruit to dip into it; I steered clear. There was also 3 flavors of "ice cream". Flavors still unknown..haha

I FINALLY got the pics to load a little faster! (3 minutes each...much better) Still not sure why it's so slow; perhaps the server here has another billion people on it or something.

Last week, Michael finally taught an entire week of classes. No more breaks. No more holidays til the end of the semester--the end of January. Could be a long haul! But, he's enjoying it and his students are surprising him with the high level of English abilities they have. I'm anxious to meet some of them. We have some events coming up where I'll actually get to talk to some of them. WOO! This has been a long time waiting. (Remember, most other teachers in other cities with our company have been teaching and meeting with students for a month now. Our school is just starting super late.)

Meals conquered this week: chicken fried steak, stew (with a cheater packet from the States), chicken alfredo (another cheater packet...I know, gross usually..but so good here!). I'm building a list! :)

Please stop being shy about commenting. I need some confirmation to continue posting. If you don't have an account, you can still write a comment. Google readers, you know what you need to do.

I post all the pics on Facebook. If you're not on there, you can still look at the album by clicking here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2109919&id=66804516&l=432c50e5d8

I'm still having major issues uploading pics. I don't have the time or patience to deal with it now, so pics from the last few weeks will just have to wait. I'll keep trying....

For your enjoyment...

A look into our daily lives....

1. October 1 marks the day that everyone starts wearing their long underwear, no matter the temperature outside. (It's still warm..in the 70's!) Grammies even check Josiah sometimes and scold me for not putting more clothes on him.
2. Most milk is sold in bags that can sit on the shelf for a month. Sounds weird, but tastes pretty normal.
3. I get stared at (what's new?!) when I have a cart-ful of groceries. Most people go to the store/market every day.
4. There is a saying about flushing toilets. It goes like this: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down."
5. When walking/biking, most fellows will yell out in their best English accent, "hallow!"
6. Almost all yogurt is drinkable...a little more runny, and always served with a straw. Most are sold in the small, square cartons like the States. Josiah could drink 5 of them if I let him.
7. Diapers cost more here than in the States. This could lead to early potty training, but will never lead to split-pants.
8. Electricity, water, and gas are all bought at the bank. To know when we will run out, we have to check separate meters with a credit-card like thing throughout our apartment.
9. When eating out, several dishes are ordered to eat family style--all in the middle of the table, usually on a large lazy susan--and brought out (usually) one at a time. Rice is typically served last to be eaten as a "filler."
10. Fireworks go off at all times of day--early to late. It could be for the opening of a store, or more often for a bride/wedding. They set them off at the apartment of the bride before she comes out to keep away the evil spirits. The same is done at the wedding and reception site. The Chinese don't even flinch when the sticks of dynamite go off....while we foreigners are covering our ears and running away.

help!

Anyone else having trouble uploading pics? I've tried to upload ONE pic a few times..waiting 5-10 minutes and it was still "working." It can't be that huge of a file--FB uploads just fine.

Any ideas? I'm getting rather frustrated....................