stink

death stinks.
divorce stinks.
diapers stink.

but God is faithful and has one, grand plan.

can't wait til Jesus makes his comeback.

limbo

I feel in a very limbo-y stage right now. I want to spend as much time as possible with friends and family, and am doing that. But I also want to be available for how God wants to use me. But then I think..nah, we'll just be here a little while longer, why start? I'll wait til I get to China, then see what He'll do. But why should I wait? I'm not even promised tomorrow! But how does He want to use me? Obviously staying at home with Josiah is huge; I understand that. But I want to be around people so badly. Poor into other girls' lives. Help mend marriages. Love on the outcasts. Counsel teenagers. Am I supposed to do this with a baby in tow?

I just wonder what He wants me to do. Right here. Right now.

Ready....speak, Lord! And may I have the ears to listen....

countdown

Josiah is 8 months old.

We leave for China (after 3 weeks in Colorado) in 6 months.

Wowzers. It's still not setting in, no matter how many times I say it. Watch me lose it the entire last month. Yeah right--we'll be packing and selling like crazy--no time to lose it!

Josiah is a moving machine. He's a master crawler and pulls up on almost everything..with minimal falling. Oh, and let me mention his grasp. I'm not sure if it's normal or not..but it is ridiculously strong. I'm sure I have bruises on my arms because he pinches me while he nurses. Sometimes I have to jerk him away because it hurts so bad. He's going to have one, mean handshake.

He's eating more food, thank heavens. His favorite now is acorn squash. He'll eat 2 servings of it in about a minute. Love it. The other food..even the fruits..we still have to shove into his mouth. I guess it's all a process.

Michael's little cousin, Levi (10), passed away last week after fighing leukemia. He's now with Jesus, which is sweet. But his funeral yesterday was hard. I cried. A LOT. And I didn't even know him that well. I think it was just the fact that he was a child. But the funeral ended in a celebration of music and preaching. The gospel choir brought the house down...it was awesome.

So I stalk a few very creative people. They have been posting some very cute projects that I only wish I could embark on. Every time I see something I want to make or buy, I get sad because I can't buy it! What's the point of buying/making it when I'll just have to sell it or give it away in 6 months! Soo..hopefully China has the resources I'll need to make all these fun things. I can't wait to decorate. And I sure hope they let me paint (hopefully without lead.)

randoms

boot camp is over. the boy sleeps well at night with no feedings and takes great naps during the day. yay!

however, he doesn't like to eat food. I thought for sure he'd be all over it. not at all. we've tried acorn squash, sweet potatoes, apples, and pears. he likes none of them. sometimes I'll shoves bites in his mouth, other times he spits them at me. I know he's getting a bigger appetite...why won't he eat?!?! it's a mystery to me.

he IS getting much more active and mobile. in the past 2 weeks he has really gotten the hang of army crawling and yesterday he pulled himself to his feet using the coffee table. holy buckets...he'll be walking in no time.

I did have a birthday last week. I am 26 now. yikes..closer and closer to the dreadful 30. we celebrated on new year's eve when my friends surprised us with a night out at a very nice restaurant and babysitting josiah through midnight for us! they made it very special. :)

the turning of the new year really wasn't a huge deal to me..perhaps because we have been planning in the new year for months now. however, reality is setting in a little more. 7 more months and we're outta here. WHOA. get your webcams ready, please.

at church, we're starting a new series based on the book Hope Lives. I'm really excited about this. it's tied to compassion international and is really making me think more about the poor. about how stinkin spoiled we are in america even though we may say we're "struggling." I'm interested to see what God will do in my heart...how he will encourage me to love on those who have less.

here are some pics from the festivities the past few weeks...

boot camp almost over!!

It's so close I can taste it. 3 nights ago I decided to do cold turkey with the 4am feeding. He woke up, as usual, and I just put his pacifier back in..and he slept until 7! What a champ! He's been doing fine (although ravenous when he wakes up) without that feeding, although the past 2 nights he has woken up twice each night. I've put his paci back in both nights, but I think tonight I'll let him cry.

It's kind of weird to think this Christmas could be our last with family for....a while. Boo! Maybe someone will come visit us for the holidays. :) But, I don't blame them if they don't because it'll probably be frigid with bad heating!

So excited for Josh & Erin and baby Renae!!! Can't wait to meet the little chica!!

Must go Christmas shopping now...

boot camp: week 2

Week 2 has been pretty much the same as week one, but with little to no crying. He still takes 4 naps and is still nursing once at night. I didn't try to wean of the night feeding because I felt sorry for him most of the week. We had to drag him around 3 different nights and he didn't get good rest those evenings. So he was hysterical a few times, but I knew it was directly related to being out of routine. He likes his routine so much that when I tried to put him down just 15 minutes early, he slept 15-30 minutes less! Hmm. Babies are curious.

Week 1 of cereal: not so good. The first day I made it REALLY runny and he ate a few bites--with the sour face, of course. The following few days he spit every bite out. Yesterday he actually swallowed a few. Today, he's back to spitting. I'm determined not to mix anything with it just yet. I want him to get used to plain cereal first! We'll keep trying... I think I might need a full-body bib to catch all of his cereal spit. :)

We had a very busy week, getting back into the swing of things with small group and marriage group as well as 3 support appointments. They all went fabulous! We're actually having fun raising support. :) Who knew that was possible?! I also told my friend I couldn't watch Ben anymore. It was hard, but necessary. I feel better knowing it's almost over.

My parents come in today. My mom missed Josiah and couldn't wait 3 more weeks to see him. Fine with us! They'll make great babysitters as we make more appointments!

Happy Friday!

boot camp: week 1

This week went surprisingly well! He slept so well I wonder if he just wasn't getting enough sleep before which then lead to cranky, bad naps. He currently takes 4, 1.5 hours naps a day and sleeps 10-11 hours a night. I definitely want to drop a nap soon, but that will be in a week or two--after he has this schedule down pat. He still eats once during the night and I will work hard on dropping that feeding as soon as he begins solids, which will happen in 2 days. When he wakes early from a nap or during the night, I let him cry. He hasn't cried more than 15 mins! Which is utterly amazing if you ask me. I was totally expecting 45 or more.

Onto week 2!!

I will consider boot camp complete once he sleeps through the night without eating. Then I will have to give him a graduation present or something. :)

OH YES...he's 6 months old today! WOW! Seriously, time is a flyin'.