bi-polar blogger

Yes, it keeps changing. I'm pretty sure I like how it looks now, but don't be surprised if it keeps changing. :) I don't really like to make drastic things about myself (clothes, hair color, etc.) so why not live vicariously through my blog? haha.

party planner

Less than 3 months til we depart. WHOA.

Less than 1 month that Josiah won't be my little baby anymore. Guess it's time to have another one! ;)

Speaking of Josiah, I'm planning a party for him. At first, Michael was highly against throwing our 1-year-old a birthday party. But then he remembered we're leaving the country and this may be one of the few birthdays he gets to celebrate with friends and fam for a while. (just so you know, I would've fought my way through it had he not agreed...with love, of course!) We're going to grill out at a park. Should be a blast. I'm also going to make him his own cake. I haven't given him many sugary foods up to this point, so why would I throw his body into overdrive by letting him eat as much sugar as he wants just because he's reaching a milestone? Not gonna have it. It'll be sweet..but made with fruit or something. I'll have to find a way to make some sort of icing, though. Maybe out of cool whip or something. Still want to see him smash it all over his face, of course!

We're also planning a benefit dinner (for ourselves..haha..ok, lots of other people are helping plan as well) for early June. Pretty excited about that one. Former KU b-ball player will speak, good food, and a silent auction. Still LOTS of planning to do, though!

hostess with the mostest...stress?

It's raining today. I like it. I went to mom's group this morning and put on jeans to look appropriate. I jumped back in my sweats as soon as we got home. It's just how it's supposed to be on rainy days. Too bad I ran out of chai....I would sure love some right now.

This past weekend was B-U-S-Y. My parents came up on Tuesday night and stayed, then picked up the aunt and uncle from Colorado. Everyone stopped by for a few hours, went to chik-fil-a (oh boy..so good), then they drove on down to Branson. Eric (the bro) came on Friday afternoon and had some fun uncle-nephew time with little man. On Saturday, the quad came back up and it was a full house until Tuesday. They didn't stay here..no room..but hung out here. It was fun! Lots of homemade chex mix, homemade ice cream, brownies, and iced tea was consumed between the 7 of us.

However, I learned something about myself. As I was scurrying around, trying to make sure everyone was comfortable, fed, quenched of their thirst, I was getting more and more stressed out. Oh, and trying to remember when Josiah last ate/slept/pooped. Then I had a flashback to when I hosted the MB reunion. How many people came? Like 20? I was in charge of meals and entertainment. I was so stressed out I barely had fun. I tend to be a people-pleaser, so when the load is on me to make sure everyone is happy and fed, I think I go overboard. And I've never been great at entertaining. I look to a few of my friends to be great and just being spontaneous and having fun, no matter what is happening. Erin, you're one of them. :)

So what can I learn from this? I sure don't need to worry so much about what other are thinking And I need to know how to relax with my company...sure, making certain that everyone is taken care of...but not obsessing over it.

And I only took 3 pics of when everyone was here. That was dumb. New goal: must take pics at EVERY opportunity. A lot of "lasts for a while" are coming up soon...!

easter

We had a relaxing weekend, thankfully. We needed it after the chaotic week we had. I think I was at the post office just about every day and made multiple calls to the Chinese consulate. Oh, the joys. :)

Here are some pics..

easter egg hunt at the felder's

found one!

super cute. he loves to be chased...so I do it all the time, just to hear hime laugh!

HILARIOUS

with his basket.

all the loot from the mueller's.

I'm starting to think about his birthday party. Freaks me out that he's almost ONE. wow. Guess we'll just have to have another one so I won't start missing the baby stage! :)

la primavera

Spring is almost here. Time for a more uplifting blog. New colors. More positive writing. However, I won't be fooled by the 1st day of spring...it's supposed to be in the 30s and SNOW here. For real? Whatev.

Today marks 3 years for the hubby and me. It's gone by soo fast! It's been so much fun. Lots of growing....but I wouldn't want it any other way. That's what marriage is for, right? To slowly dig the planks out of our eyes? I wouldn't want to experience it with anyone else!

To celebrate, Josiah and I met him for lunch at Taco Bueno. (Have you discovered this place?? Fast-food Mexican, but leaps and bounds ahead of Taco Barf/Bell. It's all FRESH...and cheap!) I was donned with the St. Patty's headband my mom gave me to wear at our rehearsal dinner and Josiah wore the clover sunglasses. For some reason, Michael didn't want to wear either of them. haha. We will continue the celebration with Michael's favorite dinner (broccoli/chicken casserole with rice and cornbread casserole) and watch Up. We typically celebrate by taking a short trip somewhere, but that will be postponed until May. Josiah will be weaned by then and will stay with my parents, which means I will actually get a vacation. :)

Clearly, he's not that happy to be wearing them. He did enjoy chewing them, though!

The countdown to China is nearing 4 months. Ok, 4 seems waaay smaller than 5. 4 hits a little harder. Perhaps because I know these next 4 months are going to be jam-packed, which always makes time fly by faster. The excitement is building!!!

stink

death stinks.
divorce stinks.
diapers stink.

but God is faithful and has one, grand plan.

can't wait til Jesus makes his comeback.

limbo

I feel in a very limbo-y stage right now. I want to spend as much time as possible with friends and family, and am doing that. But I also want to be available for how God wants to use me. But then I think..nah, we'll just be here a little while longer, why start? I'll wait til I get to China, then see what He'll do. But why should I wait? I'm not even promised tomorrow! But how does He want to use me? Obviously staying at home with Josiah is huge; I understand that. But I want to be around people so badly. Poor into other girls' lives. Help mend marriages. Love on the outcasts. Counsel teenagers. Am I supposed to do this with a baby in tow?

I just wonder what He wants me to do. Right here. Right now.

Ready....speak, Lord! And may I have the ears to listen....