Since having Malachi, I've been relying on other avenues to worship the Father besides sitting alone for an hour. There just doesn't seem to be that time. Most often, I read a Jesus Calling devo, listen to encouraging music, and pr-y throughout the day. Some days I feel guilty for not giving Him more time. A few days ago, I read this in the above book:
"Do not be discouraged by the difficulty of keeping your focus on Me. I know that your heart's desire is to be awawre of My Presence continually. This is a lofty goal; you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with Me through your life. I am pleased each time you initiate communication with Me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in My Presence.
When you relize that your mind has wandered away from Me, don't be alarmed or surprised. You live in a world that has been rigged to distract you. Each time you plow your way through the massive distractions to communicate with Me, you achieve a victory. Rejoice in these tiny triumphs, and they will increasingly light up your days."
The author also notes Romans 8.33-34 and Hebrews 4.14-16 to go along with it.
Reading this calmed my heart. My days seems so chaotic. Not only the kiddos (and really, there's only 2! what will I do if we have more?! haha), but also the daily stresses of living here. Ev-ery-thing takes longer to accomplish. It would be safe to say twice as long. I'm getting used to it now, but it just makes the days fly, then I look back to see what I've accomplished, and it seems like almost nothing.
Anyway, I'm thankful He sees me differently than I see myself. That's just the kind of Father he is.
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