Recent Quotes and Other Craziness

While eating dinner tonight, Malachi asked for some dip for his fries. Josiah responded with, "dip, baby, dip!" with perfect inflection from that one certain song from my high school days. As long as he doesn't know where it came from, it's innocent, right?! 

While eating dinner another night, Josiah looks over at Michael and asks, "Daddy, is your skin brown because you eat too many Crunchy Balls?" {"Crunchy Balls" are what we call the Chinese equivalent of Cocoa Puffs.} Of course, we all died laughing, but then Michael replies with, "And did you eat too many Cheerios?" 

On a recent Mommy-Josiah date (along with 10 other people), we walked into a 四川 (part of China known for spicy food) restaurant. Josiah started coughing, then said, "Mom, I'm coughing because I can smell the spicy." And so we ate a little spicy, then got ice cream to balance it out. 

Malachi potty trained himself. I'm not really kidding. He had 2 other men-folk to watch (TMI?), so maybe that was it. He was very ready before we went to Thailand, but I wasn't about to deal with all those potty crises there!! So, the week after we got back, I took off the diapers (except nap and nighttime..still waiting for that to "click.") He had maybe 3 or 4 accidents the next few days, and now he's great! I don't even have to remind him. He can hold it for a few hours at a time, then yells, "Mommy, Mommy, I gotta go potty!" and takes off running to the bathroom. #2 took a few days, but after telling him how nasty it was to poop on whichever character was on his underwear, he figured it out. Am I writing all this to brag? Absolutely not. I seriously had very little to do with this. So, I can do nothing else but give God the credit. He cares about the littlest of people and the littlest of bladders, too.

Lately, the boys have their non-stop antics. Malachi winks constantly. Although, maybe it's not considered a wink if his right eye is always closed. He thinks he's a pirate. Josiah has been tilting his head back and laughing hysterically. But when he does this, maybe his throat closes a little or something, and it comes out sounding like a wheezy old man. He knows it makes us laugh, so he continues.

Our ayi (helper) comes once a week and loves hanging out with the kids. This week, Josiah showed her a book that had tons of animals listed in Chinese. She sat with him and they repeated the words back and forth for 30 minutes. He was soaking it up, then said, "Mom, I want to learn more and more Chinese!" May the Father bless him with a gift of this language!!

And finally, Spring is coming! Maybe I should put "Spring" in quotation marks because it sure isn't the Spring this mid-western girl is used to, but after 5 months of temps below freezing, rounding the 40* mark feels wonderful! We can only hope that they keep climbing and don't slip back, especially since they're going to turn off the heat in a few weeks!

Thailand, etc.

Has it really been over 2 months since my last post? Woops. I blame it on prepping for Thailand, being in Thailand with little internet access for a month, and recovering from Thailand.

So I guess I'll write about Thailand.

We met my parents and aunt in Bangkok. The week spent there was mostly uneventful, just some shopping and walking around, trying to get the three of them over severe jet lag. The protests were in full-swing, but were peaceful while we were there. The protestors blocked off several major intersections, so we spent many hours in taxis, stuck in traffic, but I'll take that over a molotov cocktail being thrown around.

One of the many times we were stuck in traffic. 

 After a week there, we headed south a few hours to the beach. We were excited to stay at a resort that specifically caters to overseas workers, and it was perfect for families! Kid-friendly play rooms, games, pools, 3 meals/day, etc. And the beach was right across the street! The day we arrived was chilly and windy, but we still got in plenty of sand castles and digging for treasures. The boys had a blast! We were thankful to have a relaxing time, since we hadn't been on vacation in over 2 years.

However, one memorable note about being there: mosquitoes. It was so hard to keep them away! They eat the boys alive every time. The first night in our bungalow (6/7 of us slept there), a mosquito must've been trapped in the boys' room because Josiah woke up with about 15 bites on his face alone. Poor kid. Thankfully, he's old enough to know not to scratch them--or try not to.

With Grammy and all his bites.

Our third leg of the trip was to the city where are conference is held every year, Chiang Mai. My parents and aunt were with us a week before conference, so we gallivanted around the city doing all the tourist-y things. CM is always great because of how they cater to foreigners, especially in the food department. We have grown to love Thai food more and more, but to be in a place (in Asia!) that has SO many choices for Western food...we just couldn't turn it down!

Dad and I took a Thai cooking class. We learned so much! Neither of us have tackled a Thai dish at home yet, but they're easy enough I think it's possible. If we can only find a few of the specialized ingredients where we live...kaffir lime leaves, anyone?

After 3 weeks of fun in Thailand, my family had to go back home. We're so thankful they got to visit and of course, love on the kids! Now they've been to China and Thailand..where to next?

The 4th week for us in Thailand was spent at our org's conference. We look forward to this time every year! There's nothing like being surrounded by people who have endured the same struggles you have, day in and day out. There were many hours spent talking about these struggles and encouraging each other to keep plugging along. Another favorite part for me is the corporate singing. Since we don't get to do that in English very often, it gets me every time. And I love it.

A sweet reunion with our teammates from our first year. We hadn't seen them in 2.5 years, and these two caught up like they'd never missed a beat!

Also every year at conference, there's usually some bug going around. I guess it's to be expected when you bring 600+ people together, coming from North America and several parts of Asia. This year, it was bad. It started to hit about mid-week of conference. Then, people went down like flies. And it was the stomach bug. No fun. I was hopeful we wouldn't get it, but in the end, every one of us did! I went first, but mine was the most mild out of everyone. (Although, my appetite came back last--almost a week later! Nice way to trim down!!) Then Malachi, then Josiah, then Michael. Well, I hope we're all immune to that strain now! I feel sorry for the ladies who cleaned all those rooms who had sick people. Yikes. Sadly, it hit a lot of other people as they were traveling home. I think a lot of airline sick bags were used that day!

Since we've been back (about 3 weeks..really, already?), we've been getting into a routine again. Vacation and time away is always nice, but it's just as nice to get back home and settle in again.

Now, we're just waiting for the temps to stay above freezing so the kids can play outside. Come on, Spring!!!

Here Goes Nothin'

So, to be honest, I've kind of been struggling with this whole One Word thing. I have a tendency to be flaky with things like this. When first seeing the challenge to choose a word, I immediately thought, "Not for me...my word would be a goner within the first few months, if not sooner." It seems as though lots of my friends are picking great words, have spent time thinking and petitioning over what their word should be, and have great reasons and stories for why they think this word was impressed on them.

Me? I may just be grabbing something from left field. Thankfully, we serve a Father who also covers left-fielders like me. 

When half-thinking what my word should be, I thought back over the year. That in itself was hard since I was a full-time student for 6 months of it, stayed overseas for the summer, and transitioned back into a stay-at-home-mom for the last 5 months. To me, that seems like 3 separate years.

However, a word popped in my head that could only come from Dad since I've barely spent any time pondering it. It comes from a lesson that is still painful to think about. Perhaps the hardest lesson I have had...am still having to learn. Making it even harder, it was my precious husband who confronted me and presented the issue...again. Sadly, this was the zillionth time he or someone else has brought this up in my life, in one way or another. Hopefully it will sink in this time.

So the issue? Time to be real...severe discontentment. Always wanting things my way. From my kids not doing things the way I wanted them to (do they make some of those messes on purpose?!), to not having the most comfortable home, to not having the perfect social life, to not being supermom like every other mom (or so I thought), to having expectation after expectation fail, and on and on and on.

It was a slap in the face. This dissatisfaction in nearly every facet of my life was digging a deep, deep hole in my heart. And I wasn't even seeing it. And it was leading to anger. And a bigger cycle of frustration and discontentment. Nothing was ever enough.

Since that crushing blow, the last several months have been an improvement. But nothing to where I'd like to be. Not even close. 

So, my word for 2014:

con·tent

² [kuhn-tent] 

adjective

1. satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

2. British . agreeing; assenting.

3. Archaic. willing. 

Thanks, Dictionary.com. 

All 3 definitions above pierce something inside me. But willing hits something even deeper. Not only am I commanded to be content, He wants me to be willingly content. Not plastering a smile on my face through the annoying and frustrating situations that arrive daily in this opposite-of-me land, but looking up, knowing that the Father is on control, and letting go of my plans. Being readily content with His plans, even when they're completely opposite of my own. They are the best, after all, right? Yeah, that doesn't always sink down as far as it needs to. 

He wants me to let go of expectations. Oh boy, that's a biggie for me. I've always been one to expect a lot from myself (and hard on myself when I fail), and that often leaks into my relationships with others. And when others fail me, I subconsciously (or not so) give them a black check mark. Really? Is that was Jesus does with me? Shoot, if so, I should just tattoo a giant black check mark on my face. 

The word picture above represents the chaos that seems to be constantly surrounding me and the contentment I need to strive for. I have oh so many opportunities every single day to choose contentment over all the other unhelpful emotions. May this year be the year of giant leaps of improvement in this area!

Linking up with Velvet Ashes!

  
Ok, I've got to add this piece of randomness because it's too funny not to. As I'm typing this, my hubby is watching one of the Star Wars movies. No idea which one because I adamantly dislike them even though I've never seen more than 5 minutes of them. (Start judging, it's fine. I get hate words all the time for disliking such "classics.") Anyway, while writing this, I paused at a few different places to think and someone in the movie literally gave me the word I needed. Weird or what? No, I'm still not gonna watch them. The end.

On Turning 30

I'll start with a conversation with my oldest:

Me: Wanna help me open some birthday presents, bud?
Josiah: Sure, what are you gonna turn?
Me: {hesitantly} 30...
Josiah: Wow, you're that old, Mom?

That's what I kept thinking! I'm that old?! Really? Because I promise, in my head I'm maybe mid-20s. When did I get to the end of that decade and jump over to the new one? Ok, only 3 days ago, but still. I'm pretty sure I'll still be shocked when people ask my age and I have to sputter out "30."

Alright, alright. So I'm taking it kinda hard. Yes. I am. I can't actually pinpoint why, either. I had some things I wanted to accomplish by turning 30 that haven't happened yet, but I'm ok with those now. Maybe it's just the turn of a new decade. Soon 30-something will be flowing out of my mouth like it's nothin'.

Leading up to my birthday, I kept whining about the new number. Thanks to all of my dear friends who encouraged me. More than anything else, most wrote that the 30s are the most fun...most exciting...and that life only gets better. Really? I truly thought my college days were pretty darn awesome. But I think what's ahead may be a different kind of awesome.

 I will admit, though, I'm having a hard time foreseeing what could possibly be more exciting than getting married, having 2 adorable kids, and moving to a foreign land. I mean, we're gonna have to take up cliff jumping or something to keep the excitement levels up! 

To welcome me into a new era, my dear friends threw me a party, including burgers, coconut cream pie (FAVE), games, and presents. Pretty much a perfect way to celebrate!

Seriously amazing pie. For someone to tackle this in a land that doesn't carry half the ingredients was amazing!!

Christmas

Whoa, where did December go again? I feel like I was swallowed up by all the activities--in a good way. Actually, as I write this, I have to keep reminding myself that it will be a new year in 3 hours. Doesn't. even. feel. like. it. For real. Not even on my radar one bit. What is in my radar? Thailand. 2 weeks. Reunite with my parents and aunt we haven't seen in 1.5 years. More about that later.

So, Christmas was grand. Much better than last year, I'd say. Being in a place with a huge community has its pros and cons. I'd say Christmas is something you have to work for around here.

The students get one day off and some would rather just spend it alone, rejuvenating for the last few weeks of class looming ahead. Personally, I want people around me. The holidays are a little tough for me, and add into the mix no one beyond my hubby and kids, and I'm not a happy camper. That's what happened last year, and I was a little depressed. So, this year, I took matters into my own hands and made sure we had people to celebrate with! 4 awesome friends came over and camped out for the whole day. I loved it. Ok, I missed out on an afternoon nap, but other than that, loved it!

We exchanged gifts, ate brunch, played games, watched movies, ate a small Christmas dinner (which included home-cured ham, a first!), and enjoyed each other's company as our China family.

 What a great gift from our friends/neighbors! That's a sacrifice to share from such a precious stash. Funny thing is, Malachi's first time having it, he didn't like it. No worries--Josiah ate his share!

We realized all but 2 gifts this year were practical. These shades will get lots of good use come Thailand time! Let's hope they last with this crazy dude...

Hopeful this will come in handy while on our trek south!

New hooded towels made by Grammy. They even have their initials on the back! Too cute.

The Grove: Taste

                                  
Writing for The Grove: Taste

I've been thinking about this post all day as I scurried around the kitchen. Which dish would I write about? Oh, the pictures I could post!

I guess the Father had other ideas in mind. Like shattering my pride. Again.

For our Thanksgiving meal with 60+ others, I was in charge of rolls (boring and old hat to me b/c I make them so often), cornbread casserole (also kind of old hat..), and my challenge: banana cream pie with meringue.

I was going to write about the cornbread casserole. Our first year, I tried to make it and it wasn't like home. After 3 years of trials and mostly errors, I had finally gotten down a recipe. I now make it often for our family because it reminds us of home. Yum.

Then I stared making the pie. It took most of the day with all the steps and refrigeration periods. But when it was finished, it was beautiful. It reminded me of a local cafe at home that had mile-high meringue. The pride started to swell. Oh, the pics I would show to people! Oh, the comments I would get from people when they tasted it!

 

I wasn't quite sure how to transport it. Foil? No, the meringue would stick. So I opted for covering it with a bowl and focusing on walking carefully. Have I mentioned that our streets are now covered in thick, bumpy ice?

We made it to the gate of our complex and started the process of hailing a taxi. Near rush hour on a Friday. Great. My bowl looked a little uneven beneath the bag, so I decided to re-adjust. I started to fix it, then the whole pie plate slipped halfway out of my cold hands. And that was it. The meringue that was already sticking to the bowl and bag completely slid off and the rest of the pie was now a big mess.

Before I even knew what was happening, I burst into tears. My husband tried to help and comfort, and my sweet little boys just stood there watching, not sure why Mommy was so upset. A few locals walked by, wondering why the foreigner was crying so hard. (Later my oldest asked what was wrong. I told him I was upset that the pie fell apart. He sweetly told me, "We can fix it, Momma." :))

I finally gathered myself, we finally got a taxi, and made it to the dinner location. The failure was still fresh, so I tried to avoid talking to people. Especially anyone that had anything to be thankful for. I wasn't in the mood.

Then the Father started pricking my heart. I was so prideful about this silly pie. Sure, there's a balance between satisfaction in completing something and outright pride. Pretty sure He wanted me to know I was teetering on the wrong side of it.

I told a few people what happened. To soften the blow, they said they'd eat it anyway. After everyone had their fill of dessert, I finally unveiled the mess. Oh, it was a mess.

A few kind souls (including my hubby..way to go, babe) ate some. Not sure if it was to make me feel better or if they just really wanted pie. It really didn't taste bad, that is if you were able to find a way to get all the layers in one bite.

And so there it is. My hot mess of a pie. And another lesson in humility. Maybe this one will stick.

You know another lesson that needs to be learned, though? How to deal with failure. Wow, this has been a rough spot my whole life. Ask my mom. Going back to piano recitals--the first wrong note, I was in tears; slamming my tennis racquet when I kept losing points..on and on. How I wish I could be one of those people that just brushed or laughed off mistakes. 

Always "the Foreigner"

Last week, the boys and I went to school to serve lunch to hungry classmates. Always a joy.

It was cold and the ground is already frozen with a thick layer of bumpy ice, so I decided to take a taxi home. I usually stay on the same side of the 8-lane street to catch a taxi even though it takes longer to get home. That day, I decided to cross the giant street and try taking the shorter way home.

The wind was whipping and cold. The kids were tired because, once again, I had stayed too long at school, soaking up the conversations with other adults (highly valued these days), and it was almost their nap time. We stood, waving down taxis, for about 10 minutes. Several stopped, but always with another passenger. Do they do that in America? In other Chinese cities? Here, if you tell the driver where you're going and it's in the same direction as the passenger(s) they already have, they'll let you in. Bonus money for them, I suppose. No one was going near our home. Bummer.

So I crossed the street, hopeful for an empty taxi. An empty one means they'll take us straight to our door. One with a passenger means they'll take us to a certain point, then we have to walk 10 minutes.

We waited. And waited. Several stopped, again, no one going in our direction. Then an empty one approached. Malachi and I waved our arms vigorously, letting the driver know we wanted in his car! He zoomed by. A few minutes later, another slew of cars came by. Another empty one passed our waving arms. What in the world?! I may have yelled something like, "Why won't you stop?!" Of course, the boys picked up on it and started yelling random words. Not my greatest Mommy moment. But the frustration was really kicking in.

After a total of 3 empty taxis passed us, finally a dear soul stopped and picked us up. I told him where we wanted to go, then started questioning him. Is it change-over time? Why did several empty taxis pass us? Didn't they see I had 2 young kids and it's freezing outside? He simply replied, "They saw that you're a foreigner and assumed you don't know how to speak Chinese."

And there it was. Another reminder that we'll never fit in this place. Our face prevents that, even if they don't take the time to stop and talk with us.

A great reminder that we're all aliens in this world. Someday we'll all fit in...